Well not really, but it sure does feel like it. I remember when I used to have a real name. People used to use it and I liked it. But now, all I hear is mommy, mom, momma, ma.... It's gotten so bad that when someone uses my actual name, I don't always respond. I hear it and think hmm...I used to know someone with that name. And then I realize that it's my name and someone is actually using it to acknowledge me! Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother. But, sometimes it feels like that's all I am. I am no longer ME...or, the me I used to be?? See, I don't even know anymore.
I'm fairly new to motherhood (my oldest is 2 1/2), so I guess I'm just still trying to adjust to being a mother while still retaining some part of my non-mommy self. It's a delicate balance that I'm not entirely sure I'll ever master. I spend my days at home with my kids wishing that I could have more adult time without them. Then, when I get a night out kid-free, I spend it thinking about and missing my kids. I guess it's one of those "catch 22" problems! Oh well! I love my kids and my life, and I would never want to change any of it. Someday I'll figure out how to find "me" without losing my mommy-self. Until then, I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride.
Just don't get frustrated if you call me by my real name and I don't answer!
